Plan a visit to a loved one with memory loss

August is a month rich with family traditions-reunions, barbecues, road trips, and multigenerational gatherings that bring kids, parents, and grandparents together. For families with a loved one living with Alzheimer's disease or related dementia (ADRD), these visits can be both precious and challenging.

Grandchildren may be visiting from out of town, eager to connect with grandparents they don't see often. For those living with memory loss, these visits can be a source of joy-but also confusion, fatigue, or overstimulation. With some thoughtful planning, families can help ensure visits are meaningful and comfortable for everyone involved.

Here are some practical tips to help families navigate summer visits with loved ones with ADRD:

1. Prepare the kids ahead of time

Children may not understand the changes dementia brings. Before the visit, talk with them about what to expect. You can say things like, "Grandpa might not remember your name, but he still loves seeing you," or, "Grandma sometimes forgets what we just talked about, and that's OK."

Using age-appropriate language and reassuring them that their presence is a gift-even if it doesn't seem like Grandma or Grandpa notices-can ease nerves and encourage empathy.

2. Keep visits short and sweet

Quality matters more than quantity. Long, noisy visits can be overwhelming. Instead, plan for shorter visits in calm, familiar settings. A 20- to 30-minute visit filled with shared smiles or a favorite song can be more successful than an all-day event that leaves everyone frazzled.

3. Bring something familiar or engaging

Having a shared activity helps bridge generational gaps and can reduce pressure to "make conversation." Consider bringing:

A photo album or scrapbook to look through together

A simple craft, puzzle, or coloring book to do side-by-side

Favorite treats, music, or a small pet to visit (with advanced planning)

For those in later stages of dementia, sensory experiences-such as holding hands, brushing hair, or humming a familiar tune-can be comforting and grounding.

4. Focus on feelings, not facts

Grandchildren may be tempted to correct Grandma when she gets a name or date wrong. Gently remind them that it's not about "getting it right," but about enjoying the moment together. If Grandpa thinks your 12-year-old is still in kindergarten, that's OK-go with it. The emotional connection is more important than the details or facts.

5. Build in time to rest

Both grandparents and kids may need downtime. If your loved one tires easily, plan a quiet rest period between family activities. Don't take it personally if they need to lie down or step away-dementia often affects energy levels and the ability to stay engaged.

6. Celebrate small joys

Look for signs of connection, even subtle ones-a smile, a squeeze of the hand, a moment of eye contact. These seemingly small responses can mean a great deal. Encourage children to notice and value these moments, too.

7. Capture the memories

If appropriate, take a photo or short video to document the visit. These can become treasured keepsakes, especially for children. But always ask yourself first: "Will this be respectful and comfortable for my loved one?"

Summer visits can be a powerful reminder that, even in the face of memory loss, relationships still matter. Grandchildren may not remember exactly what was said, but they'll remember how they felt. And for grandparents with ADRD, the warmth of a child's laughter, the sound of a familiar voice, or a simple touch can make the day brighter, even if the memory fades.

With a little planning, your summer visits can be filled with connection, grace, and meaning for the whole family.

Need support or ideas?

Alzheimer's Resource of Alaska offers free education, caregiver support, care coordination, and memory screenings across the state. Reach out at (907) 561-3313 or visit http://www.AlzAlaska.org to learn more.

Lisa Sauder is the CEO of Alzheimer's Resource of Alaska.