Transform languishing into flourishing

Q: People talk about improving their lives each year, but where do I begin?

A: With a new year upon us, many individuals want to hit the reset button or find a new direction in their lives. But starting that journey can be tough, especially in a world that ties well-being to happiness and success. Many adults end up stuck in languishing—caught in a space where they aren't completely satisfied, but aren’t really unhappy either. The great news is that this feeling of stagnation can be transformed into a vibrant state of flourishing, filled with resilience and purpose. Dr. Martin Seligman’s PERMA model provides a valuable framework for this transformation, encompassing five essential elements: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. Here are easy, actionable steps to guide you through this methodology.

Self-reflection

The first step to flourishing is self-reflection. Assess your overall wellness and identify any feelings of dissatisfaction. Consider recent life changes such as retirement, loss of a loved one, divorce, job layoff or relocation, reflecting on past behaviors and outcomes that have brought you here.

Engaging in practices like journaling or quiet contemplation can help explore your emotions and recognize patterns contributing to your current state. Documenting both negative and positive thoughts provides a comprehensive view of your emotional landscape. This exercise aims to promote sustainable forward-moving progress rather than to criticize past decisions.

Determining your values

After self-reflection, the next step is to clarify your values, which guide your actions and decisions. Consider what matters most to you, such as family, health, creativity or community service. By identifying these priorities, you can align your daily activities with what brings you genuine satisfaction. If you're feeling unfulfilled, take this time to reconnect with what brings you joy. Each crossroads you encounter is a turning point to redefine your values and recognize what is truly important to you.

Rewriting goals

With a clear understanding of your values, you can rewrite your goals to reflect these priorities. Traditional goal-setting often emphasizes external markers of success, such as financial achievements. For flourishing, goals should connect to your personal beliefs and values. Focus on achieving goals that enhance your well-being, such as rekindling hobbies or strengthening relationships. Start by writing down two to five simple, value-driven goals.

Commitment to change

Diligence is essential in the journey from languishing to flourishing. Commitment to change means setting goals and taking meaningful actions to achieve them. Embrace the necessity of stepping outside your comfort zone. Commitment can take on many forms, such as establishing routines, seeking new experiences, or enhancing social connections. If you want to change your circumstances, you must be willing to adopt new behaviors. This dedication to self-awareness fosters a sense of purpose and conscious choice.

Adopting a growth mindset

Embracing a growth mindset, as popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck, can be transformative. This mndset encourages the belief that you can develop can be transformative. This persistence. By viewing challenges as opportunities for expansion, you can enhance your confidence and adaptability, paving the way for continuous learning and exploration.

Enlisting help from a coach or mentor

Finally, consider enlisting a coach or mentor for invaluable support on your journey to flourishing. They can offer insights, accountability and encouragement, helping you navigate personal development. Coaches facilitate goal-setting, provide constructive feedback, and inspire you to push beyond perceived limitations.

Putting it all together using the PERMA model:

Belief—I am more optimistic when around other people. (Positive Emotion)

Value—Cultivating friendships is vital to me. (Engagement)

Goal—Seeing my friends frequently gives me a feeling of belonging. (Relationships)

Action—Every Wednesday I meet up with my friends. (Meaning)

Outcome—I have created long -lasting, meaningful bonds with others. (Accomplishment)

Conclusion

Transforming from languishing to flourishing is a multifaceted process that requires self-reflection, value determination, goal rewriting, commitment, a growth mindset, and mentorship. Embrace the power of Seligman’s PERMA model to craft a life that feels both settled and inspired. By focusing on positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment, you can transform your years into a vibrant chapter of well-being. You’ve got this!

Karen Casanovas, PCC, CPCC, CLIPP is a health and wellness professional coach practicing in Anchorage. If you have questions write to her at info@karencasanovas.com.