Q: I recently watched the documentary “The 90s Club,” where individuals in their 90s share their perspectives on life, love, loss, and the search for meaning. This deeply resonated with me and sparked reflections about my own future. Some days, it is challenging to remain optimistic, especially when I find myself surrounded by constant reminders of farewells and funerals. I'm seeking ways to shift my perspective and find hope amid grief. How can I develop a more positive outlook?
A: One way to approach this is by considering an alternative perspective: What lies ahead? Instead of focusing solely on loss, think about the excitement of the unknown and the possibilities that await. Adopting a positive mindset can profoundly influence how we perceive our circumstances. The saying goes, “You become what you think.” In other words, what you focus on shapes your reality—what you think, you become; what you feel, you attract; and what you imagine, you create.
Your thoughts have a direct impact on your behaviors and decisions. For instance, constantly dwelling on failure may lead you to take fewer risks, ultimately hindering your growth. Conversely, nurturing positive thoughts encourages optimistic actions. Research from neuroscientist Dr. Richard J. Davidson at the University of Wisconsin-Madison has shown that positive emotions activate reward pathways in the brain, particularly in a region called the ventral striatum. According to Davidson, those who can savor positive emotions exhibit prolonged activation in this area, which is linked to increased well-being and even healthier levels of stress hormones.
In contrast, negative emotions engage the amygdala, a region associated with fear and anxiety. Davidson notes significant variations in how quickly individuals recover from threatening situations, with slower recovery potentially increasing the risk of various health issues. Understanding these dynamics is crucial, as resilient individuals are better equipped to maintain positive emotions.
Defining resilience
“Resilience is an inference based on evidence that some individuals have a better outcome than others who have experienced a comparable level of adversity.” — Michael Rutter (2012)
Key aspects of resilience
1. Adaptability: The ability to adjust to changing circumstances and find ways to thrive in challenging situations.
2. Emotional regulation: Managing emotions under stress without feeling overwhelmed by negativity.
3. Problem-solving: Actively seeking solutions to overcome difficulties.
4. Positive outlook: Focusing on lessons learned rather than becoming stuck in setbacks.
5. Social support: Building connections and a sense of community, which serve as buffers against stress.
6. Process: Recognizing that resilience is not a fixed trait, but a dynamic journey of learning, adapting, and evolving.
Patterns of thinking
Your thoughts significantly influence your habits. Repeated thoughts can lead to the formation of neural pathways in the brain, making certain behaviors more likely. It's essential to understand that positive thinking doesn't mean ignoring challenges; rather, it involves confronting difficulties with a hopeful and effective approach, anticipating positive outcomes instead of fearing the worst.
Positive thinking often starts with self-talk—the ongoing dialogue within our minds, which can either uplift or discourage us. Some self-talk is driven by rational thought, while other aspects may arise from previous beliefs or misconceptions about what could occur in a situation.
A negative self-talk pattern can foster a pessimistic outlook on life. In contrast, a generally positive mindset promotes optimism, forming the foundation for effective positive thinking throughout life.
Summary
Resilience—the ability to bounce back from adversity—offers invaluable benefits, such as improved mental and physical health, enhanced coping skills, and greater success in both personal and professional realms. It serves as a protective factor against mental health issues like depression and anxiety, aids in stress management, and can even accelerate healing from illness. Embracing positive thinking not only strengthens relationships but also fosters resilience. Strive to move forward and focus on nurturing positive thoughts as you navigate life’s challenges.
Karen Casanovas, PCC, CPCC, CLIPP is a health and wellness professional coach practicing in Anchorage. If you have questions write to her at info@karencasanovas.com
